From Frustrated Table Thumper to Empathetic Manager

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m focusing on how people cope in the workplace. But of course, mental health – good or poor – should be discussed at any time, not just in May.

If you don’t already know who your Mental Health First Aiders (MHFA) are, now’s the time to find out. That way, when you need them either for yourself or others, no time is wasted.

Supporting teams as people with lives, not just staff

It can be easy to forget that your teams have lives outside of work. Sometimes, issues at home can spill into the workplace and vice versa. As a manager, the MHFAs are your first port of call when anyone needs support.

On noticing someone struggling, gently ask how you can help. Even if they say they’re fine (which may mean: “I’m struggling but don’t want to talk about it”), they’ll thank you later for signposting them to the MHFA. Remind them you’re there for them. Be prepared to listen when they need you.

We want our teams to work hard and perform well, but we also need to support and value them as human beings. So, demonstrate your empathetic, supportive managing style by encouraging your team to be themselves at work (you too!), improving relationships.

How to bring your whole self to work

Situations can arise where people react in ways that belittle someone, making them feel bad. Your response depends on how much you like, respect and trust them.

Typically, if the team don’t know their manager well, being shouted at or talked down to may make them withdraw and stop sharing opinions, fearing their manager’s reactions.

So, bringing your whole self to work means being genuinely you. Allow your personality to shine during spoken communications. Emails too, where you can. When we see everyone being courteous, empathetic, amusing and thoughtful, it helps us get to know one another. That’s when trust and respect grows.

Years ago, when working in a telephone-based sales role, I had a dentist appointment booked. But we hadn’t achieved the morning’s targets. Our new manager stood up saying: “Anything booked for this afternoon – holidays, dentists, doctors – is cancelled until we reach our target.”

After making a few persuasive calls, we achieved our target and I made my appointment. But my well-being was damaged. I never trusted that manager and never spoke up in meetings again to avoid negative reactions.

Luckily, I quickly found another job. But if I hadn’t, my mental health would have deteriorated. An MHFA would have helped, but they weren’t a ‘thing’ back then.

The trust piggy bank

As a manager, building trust with your team is crucial for good relationships and performance. This is where a ‘trust’ piggy bank for each individual helps. They’re clear for you to see it fill as you drop coins in for every supportive conversation you have with them, whether it’s about work or not. As the coins build, so does your team’s trust in you.

Then your team should willingly rally around when there’s an urgent situation to solve, even if it means missing appointments or working late. You’ve earned the progressive reputation of being an empathetic leader.

Improving well-being, confidence and performance through supportive leadership

Coaching your team to do things out of their comfort zone is another way to support your team, improving their confidence and well-being. Because as business changes, you may need them to take on more challenging tasks.

Many managers tell me that they may often demonstrate how to do something, but in-between times the individual forgets. That can become frustrating.

Instead of showing them how to do the task – a mentoring management style – use coaching tactics. Asking them questions makes them think the process through to understand why each stage is needed. This helps with process retention while building confidence in their abilities, helping you both.

Valuing the people in your workplace

Supporting your team means valuing them, recognising their attributes and encouraging them to keep going.

The more you talk with everyone, the faster you’ll build strong relationships and learn more about every individual. That’s how you discover their value – what each person brings to the organisation that you couldn’t do without.

In turn, this helps them to feel valued, recognised and seen, increasing their confidence and performance. Benefiting them and you!